I got my son assessed by a child psychologist at 6 years old.

What do you think about that?  Do you feel like I was "over-reacting"?

Because itt doesn’t feel like that to me - actually, it feels like it was the bare minimum standard of care for my son... Because I saw SO MUCH of myself in him - and that terrified me.

He and I share SO MANY personality traits, (unfortunately for him), but there’s one thing I’m determined we won’t have in common: how negatively those traits will impact him as he grows up.

Because it's been just over a year since we were both diagnosed with combined-type ADHD. Him at 7 - severe, and me at 38 - moderate.

And I'm telling you this story to highlight a very important day on the world calendar - World Infant, Child and Adolescent Mental Health Day (WICAMHD).

The moment it stopped being “wait and see”

He was in trouble at school... a lot.

He had made some friends, and he told me he was enjoying kindy, but he was in trouble every week.

He got one single merit award for the entire year.

He had been involved in a physical incident, along with some other kids.

And the worst part - he was struggling HARD with feelings of being “the bad kid” and “the only one” like him.

And that's exactly how I've felt my entire life.

And that was the push for me to go from: “hello counsellor, do you think he ok?”
To: “I want a referral to have a formal psychological assessment done - he is NOT ok.”

A quick truth about my childhood

I was always in trouble, couldn't do anything right.  I had the best intentions, I knew I was a kind and compassionate human, but other's didn't see me the same way I saw myself.

And when my ADHD was diagnosed at the age of 38, I was sad, and I was angry - because my whole life could have been so different.  The childhood traumas I experienced have shaped my entire adult life.  And when my son was diagnosed - I cried for a long time, because I know that means he will have a harder-than-average childhood (and, likely, adulthood), just trying to do things that the "general population" (I hate the term "neurotypical" but that's another story for another blog....) seem to have a more natural ability to do.

Why this matters so much to me

Because I know exactly what happens when the right supports don't exist (Which you can read more about in this previous blog).

Needless to say, I feel an enormous amount of protectiveness over my son, but even more so than I had by "just being his mum".  I am determined to ensure he doesn't bare the scars of growing up as an outsider - misunderstood, always in trouble, and feeling like there's something fundamentally wrong with him.

What early intervention actually changes

Since his diagnosis, and subsequent use of ritalin, his life experiences have significantly improved.  He's not in trouble in class anywhere near like the year prior, he's blooming - last year he received 12 merit awards (compared to 1 the year before) - gaining him the coveted gold award - and every time he receives a new one, he races to me, hiding it behind his back, with this beaming smile on his face, and he presents this little cardboard award it to me like it's the most precious thing on earth - and TBH, it is, for both of us.  

Imagine what it feels like, as a 6 year old, like you're the only one who's ever in trouble, you're the only one who didn't receive a bronze OR silver OR gold award in your entire class.  The one who was being moved around the classroom every few weeks because you weren't allowed to sit next to those children anymore.

Now compare that to receiving the highest merit award in your school - the gold award.  To be able to feel so proud of yourself you rush over to your mum to show off your latest achievement.

I don't think anyone would consider that as over-reacting.

What emotional safety actually feels like

What emotional safety actually feels like

Having at least one person in your life who truly sees you and understands the real you, regardless of what’s presenting on the surface.

Someone who looks beneath the behaviour and tries to understand what’s actually going on, even if they don’t always get it right.

Knowing there is someone who accepts you exactly as you are.

Someone who can say, “oof, that feels really heavy, tell me more about how that feels for you” - even if they don’t fully understand it themselves.

World Infant, child and adolescent mental health day - developing emotional safety and preventing suicide - the role of digital platforms & technology

I want to be really clear here.

I have strong views about kids and social media, and I’ve spoken about that openly before.
You can watch that here.

But this is about utilising the internet and technology to improve children's access to mental health support.

Because there is a massive difference between unrestricted access to social media, and access to safe, structured, supportive “digital front doors”.

I love tech. And yes I also love AI. But it should be used for good, not evil.  Like watching "dog fails" on instagram & sharing hilarious reels with my friends who I would otherwise never speak to, because they live all over the world.

When I was a kid, there was Kids Helpline - but we only had a home landline, and it never felt safe to use it in case someone picked up the other handset.

I was around 10 when the internet came into my home, and soon after, had a computer in my bedroom.

That’s where MSN Messenger and, later, MySpace lived.  Again, I refer to this video to get an understanding of how they facilitated some of my deepest wounds.

But it also could have been the place where I accessed help privately, safely, anonymously, and without fear.

That’s what exists now and I am HERE 👏🏼 FOR 👏🏼IT 👏🏼!!!

Technology-enabled entry points where young people can seek help, learn, self-reflect, and be guided towards further support if needed.

And organisations like LIVIN are doing exactly that - delivering education in schools, reducing stigma, and actively encouraging help-seeking behaviour.

That matters, and that's why I'm here, sharing this story with you.

If you’re a parent reading this

Don’t be afraid of a diagnosis.

And for 🤬 sake don’t take it personally when an assessment is suggested - the doctor is not telling you that you've failed as a parent.

On the contrary, I would say that the only parent who fails is the one who neglects their child’s needs, fails to be their advocate, and fails to accept them just as they are.

There's a bloody good chance that NOT having an accurate diagnosis though, will lead to irreversible negative consequences.  And if you actually want to understand the long-term impact of living with un-diagnosed ADHD, read this.

What I want to see change

Increased awareness, understanding and education around ALL TYPES of neurodivergence and mental health differences.  I want accommodations for ALL TYPES of differing brains and learning styles to become the "norm" in schools and workplaces, because there is no such thing as "normal" or "typical" (don't start me).  And above all - this will all lead to reduced stigma, more inclusiveness, and better life outcomes for the entire population.

How do we do that?  I tell my son about ALL the people we know, including his classmates, that have adhd or are diagnosed other "neurodivergence" so he feels part of a club, rather than an anomoly.

We blew out the candles on a woolies mud cake I bedazzled with writing icing that read 'ADHD' the day my son was officially told about his diagnosis (mine came through a couple of weeks prior to his, which meant we could celebrate our sameness).

We talk about it so much that my daughter is legit jealous because she feels like she's the one that should be just like mummy 😂

And the change has begun.

My husband tells me that at his high school, there were two kids that had to go to the office every lunchtime, to get their medication - it was obvious they were "different" and that made them outcasts.

Now? My son goes to the office with alllllll the other ADHD-club-members (4 of them are just in his class!) to get their midday ritalin.  He told me in week 1 of school, his teacher also has her lunchtime medication because she too has ADHD, as do her children, and it's obvious she speaks openly about it with her students 🥹🥹🥹

How far we've come.

So this is why I heal loudly.

This is why Pebbly Path donates part of our profits to LIVIN.

And this is why we speak up for and support World Infant, Child and Adolescent Mental Health Day.

Because feeling emotionally safe is something we create for children, it doesn't just happen because we love them.

It happens when we see them, accept them, support them, and advocate early enough to change their trajectory.

P.S. If you've made it this far - you're an actual living legend. It's a long blog. But I'm glad it's captured your attention, and I hope you can join me in creating more safe spaces for the generations to follow. 🩷🩷🩷

P.P.S. If this post has brought up any big feelings for you - BIG love to you 🫶🏼 and I strongly encourage you to speak to someone about it.
Here is my (non-exhaustive) list of helplines & "digital front doors" in Australia - and they're ALL FREE

1. Lifeline Australia

24/7 helpline: 13 11 14

SMS: 0477 13 11 14

Webchat available at: lifeline.org.au

Crisis support for patients experiencing suicidal ideation, emotional distress, or requiring crisis de-escalation.

2. Beyond Blue Support Service

24/7 helpline: 1300 22 4636

Webchat available at: beyondblue.org.au

Short-term counselling for anxiety, depression, and stress, including support for carers and families.

3. 13YARN (First Nations Crisis Support Line)

24/7 helpline: 13 92 76

Operated by Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, this helpline provides trauma-informed, culturally appropriate support.

4. Suicide Call Back Service

24/7 helpline: 1300 659 467

Webchat available at: suicidecallbackservice.org.au

Multi-session phone and online counselling for people experiencing suicidal thoughts, their loved ones, bereaved individuals, and health professionals supporting people who are affected by suicide.

5. Qlife

3pm-midnight helpline: 1800 184 527

Webchat available at: qlife.org.au

Peer support for LGBTIQA+ people exploring identity, sexuality, relationships, and mental health.

6. MensLine Australia

24/7 helpline: 1300 78 99 78

Webchat available at: mensline.org.au

Confidential support for men with concerns around mental health, relationships, and wellbeing.

7. eheadspace

9am-1am helpline: 1800 650 890

Webchat available at: headspace.org.au

Phone and online counselling for young people aged 12–25, or their family members and carers.

8. Kids Helpline

24/7 helpline: 1800 55 1800

Counselling service for young people aged 5–25.

Free digital mental health resources

9. Medicare Mental Health

Website: medicarementalhealth.gov.au

A central portal for digital mental health services including online programs, apps, and forums for a diverse range of concerns. GPs can also refer patients directly through the Medicare Mental Health Phone Service.

Did you know Sonder operates a walk-in Medicare Mental Health Centre at 23 Gillingham Road Elizabeth? We also run a Safe Haven, a walk-in mental health service at 9 John Street, Salisbury.

10. WellMob

Website: wellmob.org.au

Collection of culturally-appropriate resources for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander people experiencing mental health challenges, including videos, factsheets, podcasts, and other resources.

11. moodgym

Website: moodgym.com.au

An interactive CBT-based program likened to a self-help book, consisting of five interactive modules with exercises, quizzes, and workbooks.

12. THIS WAY UP

Website: thiswayup.org.au

Developed by experts at St Vincent’s Hospital Sydney, THIS WAY UP offers evidence-based courses for a range of presentations. Some courses are fully subsidised with GP referral; GPs can register as prescribers to monitor patient progress. The resource hub is free to access.

13. Embrace Multicultural Mental Health

Website: embracementalhealth.org.au

Multilingual mental health factsheets and tools to support culturally diverse communities.

14. BlueKnot

Website: blueknot.org.au

Support for people in recovery from complex trauma, including translated resources.

15. myCompass

Website: mycompass.org.au

Developed by the Black Dog Institute, myCompass is an interactive self-help tool to promote resilience and wellbeing.

16. headspace

Website:headspace.org.au

A library of easy-to-understand resources about mental health tailored for young people, those supporting young people, and Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.

Free, in-person support is available to young people from headspace centres across South Australia. Sonder operates headspace centres in Adelaide, Edinburgh North, Marion, and Onkaparinga.

17. out-spoken

Website: headspace.org.au/lgbtiqaplus

This free video series from headspace, hosted by young people in the LGBTIQA+ community, covers sexuality, gender identity, and everything in between.

Free mental health mobile apps

18. Smiling Mind

Website: smilingmind.com.au

A free mindfulness and meditation app developed by psychologists and educators, offering over 700 guided sessions and a mental fitness tracker.

19. What’s Up?

Available on iOS and Google Play

Features CBT tools to manage anxiety, stress, and negative thought patterns.

20. Moodfit

Website: getmoodfit.com

A personalised mental fitness app that helps users track mood and build healthy habits..

21. MindDoc

Website: minddoc.com

Daily mood tracking, self-care routines, and psychoeducation for emotional wellbeing.